


Efficiency

by cherrytruck



Series: The Birkin Files [1]
Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: M/M, Workplace Sex, aka two mad scientist villains need a sitcom moment, also awkward canteen socializing, and multitasking, lots of banter, this probably takes place before Umbrella turns serious business
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 18:53:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9251243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrytruck/pseuds/cherrytruck
Summary: Dr Birkin and Wesker decide on having a quickie in the lab, which isn't as easy as they initially imagined.





	

Wesker carried Birkin over to the other side of the lab as quick as possible without trying to be careless, holding tightly around his waist while the other scientist gripped on as much as possible with his arms and thighs wrapped around Wesker. They were still both physically connected after at least one of them thought it was a good idea to start casually having sex while at work. They were still fully clothed – ignoring the absent sunglasses - Birkin less so with being completely naked waist down, but otherwise his labcoat draping behind him was able to spare him some modesty.

“I didn’t realize you’d be this loud,” Wesker pointed out. He never knew that under the shy and socially awkward demeanour, Birkin had it in him to express himself so liberally. Not that he minded, if it wasn’t for the fact that Umbrella would probably kill them for using their facilities as a love hotel or that others might hear.

“S-sorry…” Birkin was looking quite flustered, different from the usual disciplined look he had about him. It was quite amusing to think that Wesker himself would be capable of infatuating his colleagues this way.

He finally let Birkin down by having him sit on the table, where the centrifuge was continuing to run, making the table shake a little. Hopefully Birkin wasn’t going to get picky and demand Wesker move him somewhere else.

Fortunately not, since Birkin laid his back on the table and pulled Wesker’s hips towards him, indicating him to continue.

“Quite the greedy one, aren’t you?” Wesker smirked and complied with his colleague’s wishes, moving inside him in quick motion, with each thrust making a sound that echoed throughout the lab.

“Aaaah…Albert, t-that’s so good…”

Much as it was embarrassing to think they had even resorted to this, Wesker had to admit, it was good to see and hear William like this. Being inside him felt utterly pleasurable, even if Wesker tried not to show it in his own face.

A few seconds later the centrifuge stopped. Birkin gasped and turned his head towards it. “Ah! It finished already?! I need to take those samples out immediately!”

Great. Just when Wesker thought he’d be able to take Birkin’s mind off work and dedicate all his energy into one another, the overworked scientist reverted back into his old self. Wesker sighed. He thought they’d be able to manage in ten minutes, but William was ever so demanding. “I also didn’t realize we’d take so long to finish one another off.”

Birkin looked back at Wesker. “Let’s change positions. Bend me over and keep going…”

“Oh?” He had to admit, that was surprising. “If you wish, Dr William Birkin.”

His colleague chuckled at that, probably because being reminded of his prestige flattered him. Wesker pulled out and allowed Birkin to adjust his position, who turned around and moved his labcoat to one side to give Wesker access again. At the same time, he put on a pair of rubber gloves and opened the machine containing all his cell samples.

Birkin was hopeless. Without even being able to see his face at this angle, Wesker was absolutely able to picture that concentrated look he had in his eyes when handling any kind of lab equipment. The thought of breaking that expression gave Wesker more than enough desire to slide back inside him, and the sounds that followed gave him the confirmation he needed to know he had managed to achieve just that.

“Ohhh…yes, that’s…keep going...”

Wesker could see Birkin’s hands trembling. “Concentrate, Doctor. I don’t want you to lose all that precious effort.”

“How considerate-nghh…” Despite all the thrusting and shaking, Birkin somehow managed to complete his task without a single spill. His pipette technique remained most delicate even among the multitasking. The gloves had come off by now.

“Finished now, William?”

“Yes, I’m nearly…” Birkin let out another loud moan that echoed across the room as Wesker picked up the pace. He just hoped that the relocation was in such a place where those echoes wouldn’t reach far enough into the corridors where everyone else would be able to hear.

“Albert,” Birkin said, turning his head around as much as he could. “Grab me a sample collection pot, p-please…”

Wesker raised his eyebrows. “What for?”

“I…um…” Birkin tilted his head down, pressing his head against the table. “I need to collect germline cells for this project too, s-so I thought I’d…”

Birkin had to be joking. Even as he was about to climax he was thinking of putting his work first. “Really, William? You can’t let this one time be and save the collection for another time?”

“Well, it’s just…I-I don’t want to make a mess, and…”

“Fine, have it your way.” Wesker had to briefly stop his motions to awkwardly reach out for the cupboard to find one. Once he got one, he quickly put it in Birkin’s hand. “I’m not holding it for you, though.”

“That’s fine, thank you…” They adjusted so that Birkin would have enough room to put his hand under the table.

Hoping no more interruptions would take place, Wesker resumed pacing inside of Birkin as quick as he could, with one hand reaching out towards his length and stroking it with equally quick motion. He was able to bend over enough for his mouth to kiss behind Birkin’s ear and whisper into it. “Come for me, William…”

“Aaah…yes…yes!” Birkin got louder and louder, perhaps too dangerously so, but at this point Wesker had stopped caring, settling to be satisfied that finally he could distance his colleague away from his work enough to lose control of his composure. When the sounds finally settled down and became soft whimpers, Wesker figured he must have climaxed by then. He allowed himself to have a few gasps and moans escape from him, continuing to thrust inside of his now worn out friend until the surge of energy escaped him and wore him out too. He had to admit, that was a really good way to finish off.

For a minute they remained that way, only the sounds of their breaths audible at that moment. Wesker let himself lay on his colleague’s back, relieved at the mere fact that Birkin wasn’t rushing to go back to work – in spite of Wesker earlier teasing they took longer than expected.

Birkin then tried to push himself off the table, which indicated to Wesker he should pull out and give him some room for movement. Birkin still had the collection pot in his hand, raising his hand to take a look and also let Wesker observe. “See? No mess, and now I have extra resources for my work.”

Wesker laughed, knowing it wouldn’t take him too long to go back to that. “You filled up quite a lot. That’s impressive. Never knew you had it in you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Birkin smiled and teasingly hit Wesker on the shoulder.

“Nothing much.” Wesker took off the condom he still had on him, and casually handed it over to his colleague. “Since you seemed so keen on sample collections, perhaps you can use this.”

It was mostly to try and annoy Birkin, but he responded with a genuine look of happiness - an absurd image for a man to look so happy being handed over a used condom. “Hey, this is actually useful! Thank you, I’ll be sure to make good use of it!”

Wesker sighed in amusement. _Only William_ , Wesker thought to himself. “Get dressed, Doctor. Before someone knocks on the door and asks us what on earth is going on.”

~

The afternoon had become rather cold, so for one of the few rare times, the pair of scientists went to the canteen area to get themselves some warm food at the cost of trying to semi-socialize with anyone. Wesker had eggs as usual, and chose an empty table where he had hoped nobody else would join them, and they managed to eat in peace.

While having a drink, Birkin snatched away Wesker’s sunglasses and put them on himself, then pulled his hair back to try and make it resemble Wesker’s style. “Guess who I am? I like to wear things that impede my vision, and I speak in a very deep voice, like this…”

“I sound nothing like that.” Wesker felt a little naked without the glasses, but let it be. Birkin was clearly still all lightheaded from their session and acting unusually silly, but perhaps it was refreshing to see the man having so much fun outside of the lab for once. “Are we switching roles now?”

“Would you like that?” Birkin said back in his own voice. Wesker could see a bit of red under those shades.

Before he could answer though, it seemed the canteen started to fill up and eventually someone had to join them – while they were in the middle of this of all times, of course.

“Wow, you two look like brothers when you do that,” the other person wearing a labcoat said. Wesker wondered if he was supposed to remember this guy’s name or even his face, or if they had even met before.

“Um…haha, yes.” Birkin suddenly looked embarrassed and quickly handed Wesker back his sunglasses, ruffling his fringe back towards his face. Wesker proceeded to put them on, deciding that it would help to avoid any awkward eye contact.

“Dr Birkin,” the unknown scientist said. Wesker was surprised, and perhaps irritated, that this guy was speaking as if they were acquaintances without an invitation. “I thought I heard some sounds of your voice in distress coming from your lab, is everything ok?”

“Uh…” Birkin’s eyes shifted down. It seemed his usually sharp mind wasn’t able to come up with an excuse quick enough.

“Dr Birkin isn’t accustomed to having...big things put into him,” Wesker said, somewhat trying to purposefully make it sound like innuendo, much to Birkin’s horror. “It was a big needle I injected because he insisted that he should be his own test subject for this sample vaccine he made. Needless to say, it didn’t go too well.”

“Y-yeah,” Birkin said, showing some relief in his face afterwards. “I can’t stand needles. Anyway, I better take off…” Without any obvious effort to greet the stranger scientist goodbye, Birkin picked up his tray and left. Wesker followed suit.

Once they were outside of the canteen, Wesker stared at Birkin with a look of amusement. Birkin looked away and tried to ignore him, but then looked at Wesker again.

“I know what you’re thinking, Albert. Don’t remind me.”

“I’m just amused you left without bothering to try and talk to that guy,” Wesker commented. “Do you know him?”

“No,” Birkin retorted. “No idea.”

**Author's Note:**

> Germline = basically egg/sperm cells. Smooth, Birkin.


End file.
